You do not have to submit the application for a residence permit yourself. Your family member can do this for you.
Only the family member you are going to live with, can sponsor you.
You do not have to be married to live with your partner in the Netherlands. You can also apply for a residence permit if you are registered as partners or if you are not married.
Your family member does not need to have his own home.
After several years with a residence permit to stay with a family member, you may apply for an independent residence permit.